In the latest sign that civilization is surely about to collapse around our ears, I recently witnessed a family set up at the table next to us, as seen above. Before sitting down, the wife/mother pulled out some sani-wipes to make sure that the table was, you know, clean. And sanitary. After this, they pulled out this red contraption, which, given their obvious health-hangups, must be something like an insulin tester for a diabetic child.
The reality was much more sinister: a portable DVD player, which was immediately turned on and left running for the entire meal. A more level-headed person would discourse on the substitution of entertainment for parenting, but all I can say is DEAR GOD DO NOT JUDGE US TOO HARSHLY.